Draco Malfoy and the Cursed Food Products
by tornadochaser2478
Summary: Draco is eating a peice of cheese...


Pansy Parkinson was walking through the forbidden forest alone and saw a peice of cheese. She knew the cheese looked farmiliar, so she walked up to it, and it started to fly. At first she thought he was hallusinating from the 20 kilograms of cocaine she had earlier, but she was wrong. It was really flying! Then she heard the adorable giggle of Draco Malfoy. Only she knew he was laughing at her, so she went over to 29 different bushes looking for him, and never found out that there was a tape recorder in the pocket of her robes with a recording of Draco's laughing.  
Then the real Draco came by, eating a peice of cheese. Parkinson passed out, then I came by. "Hi, Draco. What's bugging her?" "Dunno. Let's go to the common room. It's getting late."  
He was still eating the peice of cheese. When we got to the common room, Crabbe and Goyle just stood there and snorted at Draco for no reason at all. The peice of cheese was still in Draco's hand.  
He wasn't finished with it. He took a bite of the cheese and Goyle jumped out of the window, followed by Crabbe. "They're mental. Let's go to the Chamber of Secrets. It'll be much more interesting there." "You should probably go to the prefect rooms, Diana. Sharing a dorm with Mudblood Granger, McGonnagal probably already knows that your out of bed and went to the forbidden forest." "Good point. C YA, Draco." "Bye."  
  
So I went to the prefect rooms after Draco finished his peice of cheese. I wrote to Voldemort:  
  
Dear Tom,  
I think Draco ate a cursed peice of cheese. It made people pass out and go mad. I ate another peice of cheese and it just killed Potter.  
Concerned About the Cursed Cheese,  
Diana Riddle  
  
Then I gave the letter to Yolanda(my owl) and she flew out of the open window. Just then, Hermione came in and asked, "What are you doing up so late?" "Nothing really. You?" "Oh, nothing." Then I fell asleep. When I woke up, everything was a different shade of yellow. I got dressed and went to the Slytherin common room, where Draco had just finished his peice of cheese and was now eating a potato.  
  
"Does the world seem a bit yellow to you?" "Yes." Then I had this strange urge to jump off of a chair, but I resisted. "Where are you getting this food from?" "My mother gave it to me. Why? Do you think there might be something wrong with it?" "Yes. Maybe you just need to go to the hospital wing. Just come with me." "Okay."  
The sign on the hospital wing door now read: Gniw La Tip Soh. Madam Pomfrey seemed to be just as confused as I was. "I've never seen cursed food before. But if he ate cheese yesterday, and everything is yellow today, there must be something wrong. Perhaps Dumbledore knows. Albus!" In came Dumbledore, grinning happily like he almost always was. That has always scared me. "Yes, Poppy." "Draco Malfoy has cursed food. Do you know about it?" "Yes. I'm afraid I'll have to confiscate all of the food you have that we didn't give you." "I think this potatoe's the last food product," said Draco as he finished the potato, and just then Dumbledore started to act like a chicken. Madam Pomfrey sighed and told us to leave as she tried to heal Dumbledore.  
"That wasn't much help." "Hey, look. I still have a chocolate frog that I got from Honeydukes. I don't think they would curse their candy," he said reassuringly, but sure enough, when he got the first bite of his chocolate frog, Pansy Parkinson jumped out of a third floor window and died. "Go Draco! I mean, that was very wrong. I'll have to report you. I hate being a prefect sometimes. Oh well, I'm going to my dormitory. Bye." "Good-bye, Diana."  
  
So I went to my dormitory and waited for Yolanda. Then she flew in, a parcel tied to her feet. I patted her head and took the letter. It read:  
  
Dear Diana,  
This book may help you. Go to the index.  
Love, Voldemort(STOP CALLING ME TOM! I HATE THAT NAME)  
  
So I unwrapped the parcel, and consulted the very back of the book. Sure enough, cursed foods was there. I read the section on cursed foods while eating a pineapple. I left my dormitory for the Slytherin Common Room(the trapdoor now read: Mo Or Nommoc Nireh Tyls), where Draco Malfoy was sitting at a table. I gave him a glass of toothpaste and sugar water. "Trust me, Draco. It'll work." So he drank the toothpaste and sugar water, and the world was no longer yellow. "Now you can eat all the cursed food you want, and it won't do anything."  
  
Thus ends the story of Draco Malfoy and the cursed food products. 


End file.
